Prefer to download and print this story? Click here. Otherwise, enjoy!
This is Part 2. If you are new to Diana and the Desk Dragon, click here to go to Part 1.
While the two heroes were searching erroneously in the basement, the little dragon’s collection has been growing.
So far the dragon has swallowed a pair of keys, a box’s worth of paperclips, a “15 years of service” gold pen, a brass nameplate, and an aluminum water bottle.
He’s grown about 8 inches, but the larger he gets, the larger the items he can swallow, and the faster he grows in turn.
…
Diana and Gwydion exit the elevator a few floors above their chosen destination and descend the extra flights of stairs to maybe throw off their trail if Gill is still somehow tracking them.
Diana runs into the open sales floor with her arms waving above her head.
“Hey, everybody!” Her fellow employees pause what they’re doing to review the interruption. “Has anyone’s stuff gone missing? It would probably be metal. We think there might be a thief going around.”
“It’s Gill,” Gwydion says, stepping up beside her. Diana opens her mouth to defend Gill like she has dozens of times before with different coworkers, but the image of him morphing into a monster immediately breaks her of the habit.
“Uh, yeah,” she says. Cecily rushes up to them.
“What’s going on? Did Gill steal your stuff?” She asks.
“Not… exactly, but he’s being especially creepy today, so if you see him, be careful, but please distract or detain him as much as you can.” Diana turns back to everyone. “Well? Is anything missing?” The majority of the people have already turned lethargically back to their screens and continued working, but one IT guy working on the printer raises his hand.
“My ‘15 years of service’ pen disappeared off my clipboard about 10 minutes ago,” he says thoughtfully.
“Yes! I mean, I’m sorry to hear that; where were you when it happened?” He scratches his head.
“I guess it was when I was checking that server that went down. It was all covered in lotion or something.”
“That was Gill, too.” Gwydion chimes in again.
“Thank you so much for the help everybody!” Diana shouts. She grabs Gwydion’s hand mid-stylus spin and drags him off toward the stairs.
“We were just on that floor! Why didn’t we think to ask anyone up there?” She says. Gwydion just shrugs, though it’s difficult to do while Diana is still holding his hand captive.
They run up the stairs, slowing as their legs and lungs grow tired. They enter the server room, the noise of the fans billowing out as they open the soundproof doors. Gwydion slaps his forehead with his available hand.
“Of course! He’s using the vents. They’re made of metal and they provide lift. I should’ve thought of it before.”
“Let’s ask one of the IT guys for the vent system schematics.”
“Is that a thing?” he asks. Now Diana shrugs, and she reluctantly releases his hand.
“Only one way to find out!” They run out of the server room and flag down the closest IT guy they see.
“Do you have a diagram or something of the HVAC system?” She asks.
“Um, yes I do; why do you need it?”
“We think Gill is stuck in the vents somewhere,” Gwydion says, smiling at his own joke. Surprisingly the IT guy just shakes his head.
“That guy really needs to get a life.” And he leads them to a computer to print the plans out. I’m really going to have to change my opinion about IT guys after all of this, she thinks to herself.
And they set off again.
…
It truly is unfortunate that they didn’t ask for help from an IT professional sooner, because in the time it has taken to acquire the blueprints, not-so-little Cadfael has now swallowed a different coffee machine, a couple of foldable metal chairs, and a mini-fridge.
He can only use the largest of vents now and he has to squeeze through them at that. His instinct to find larger and larger items lures him ever upwards…
…
At this point, the disappearing objects are impossible to miss, and they’re hot on Cadfael’s trail, but he’s still eluding them.
“How is he so fast!? We haven’t even caught a glimpse of him, and we’ve been only seconds behind half a dozen times!” She throws her hands up. Gwydion cringes and scratches the back of his head.
“Well, I’m probably to blame for that… I trained him to avoid people, so he wouldn’t be spotted if he ever got out.” He starts a shrug but stops as she tilts her head with her eyes glinting.
“You trained him to hide from you?”
“I’m not done training him yet…” He spins his stylus nervously. She squints at him.
“You’re lucky I like you, or I would really not like you right now.” She says.
“You like me?” He asks. She rolls her eyes.
“Whatever, let’s keep going.”
They pass a finance guy scratching his head at the space where his desk used to be and they pick up their pace.
They hurry to the stairwell but hear growling echoing up from not too far below. They look at each other.
“Elevator!” They exclaim in unison. They take off at a run, past the guy still looking around for his missing desk and straight to the elevator. Diana pushes the rooftop button. Gwydion raises an eyebrow.
“What happened to a systematic approach?” He asks.
“No time. Gill’s on our tails and Cadfael is always ahead of us.” She pushes the ‘’door close” button. “And I’ve got a hunch.”
The elevator starts to climb.
…
The building was renovated the previous year with brilliant new copper roofing. The aroma of that much pure copper would be hard to hide from a dragon with a head cold, and a young healthy dragon like Cadfael can’t help but covet it.
As such, he has been heading ever upward, following the copper’s tantalizing scent and swallowing progressively larger things to prepare for the ultimate prize: the solid copper pinnacle.
…
The elevator doors open to the late afternoon sun blazing off the shiny roofing. Diana’s hair blows pleasingly in the wind. Hopefully Deon—Gwydion—notices. And the two of them exit onto the open roof of the building: 50 floors up.
Diana steps, slips, and immediately forgets her photo shoot moment with her hair in the wind. She catches herself but feels Gwydion’s hand steadying her.
“Careful, it looks like Cadfael is up here,” he says. Sure enough, Diana has slipped in a jiggly puddle of dragon saliva.
“Yuck! You really need to train him better.” She says looking at the goo on her shoe. Gwydion smirks.
“Sure thing.” He takes his hand off her back. “Let’s see what the little guy has gotten himself into.”
Diana shakes her foot and the clear goo falls off in globs. Diana retches once and follows Gwydion around the air conditioners.
…
If they had been worried that they wouldn’t be able to find Cadfael, those fears immediately evaporate as they look toward the west. Curled around the copper pinnacle, Cadfael is trying to get his sizable jaws around it, but every angle he tries, he can’t get it right. He looks like a puppy with a bone just too big for him.
Of course, this ‘puppy’ is 40 feet long.
Gwydion shouts up to the dragon: “Hey, Caddie! Here boy!” He makes some loud lip-smacking sounds. Cadfael looks up and tilts his head quizzically.
Then continues to try to fit the pinnacle in his mouth.
“Soooo… what have you taught him?” Diana asks.
“I haven’t had him that long.”
“Can’t you just cast, I dunno, a shrinking spell, or something?”
“No, dragons are functionally immune to magic; training is the only option.” He tries calling again. “Here boy!” Cadfael raises his head again, then snarls. Flames blossom around his mouth. He blows a hot jet of pressurized flame up into the air above him. Diana can feel the heat all the way across the roof.
“Oh, he’s mad. That’s not good.” Gwydion says.
“What do you do when he’s mad?”
“He’s never been mad before—” The color drains from his face. He shoves her to the left. “Dive!” She doesn’t bother to ask why he pushed her this time; the shadow rapidly approaching them makes it pretty obvious. As she lands, she turns her face just in time to see Cadfael’s glaring eye glide by before he sails right over them.
Diana rolls onto her stomach, coincidentally on top of Gwydion, to see where the dragon is headed. Diana and Gwydion are both completely covered in dragon goo at this point.
She sees what Cadfael is really aiming at.
“GILL!” She shouts. Gwydion stops looking up at Diana and looks back to where Cadfael is rocketing toward Gill’s mostly human form with smoke streaming from the sides of his snarling mouth. Diana crawls off Gwydion.
Gill quickly pulls out a gag-tied Cecily at the last second, forcing Cadfael to do an aerial flip to slow his momentum and skid to a halt, trading his flames for a lion-like roar.
“HA HA HA! Don’t want any collateral damage now do we!” The dragon snaps at him in warning then jumps into the air, circling him from above. Gill keeps Cecily close to prevent any long shots from Cadfael. “So, you wouldn’t pick me, eh Diana? Well, this Sissy-lee will do just fine!” Gwydion gets to his feet faster than Diana would have thought possible.
“Let her go!” Gwydion glows dimly absorbing some of the light from the setting sun, and suddenly his clothes aren’t too big.
He looks like a career MMA fighter. His stylus sucks in more light and lengthens into a sword with blue glowing Celtic runes up the blade. “You dog—ye gwyllgi! What do you want with these women?” Gill bares his teeth.
“I’m no ye gwyllgi, I was cursed to be what I am by your uncle! You’re familiar with his cruel punishments.” Gwydion shivers again but holds his ground.
Gill turns to Cecily and smiles. “But I received a prophecy that will end my curse:
‘If a fair maid’ will me wed,
The blasted curse will be unstaid.
She it knows, and down he goes,
Falling into the awaiting bed.’”
He quotes. Cecily cringes at his delivery, or maybe it’s because the rope is rubbing her skin raw. But she manages to remove the gag from her mouth.
“Help!” she screams.
Gwydion continues to pace slowly nearer to Gill, only stopping when Gill looks like he might hurt Cecily. “Okay, so you’ll rid yourself of this curse if a woman falls for you; how do think that will work when you’ve treated her like this?” Gill puts his clawed finger to Cecily’s neck and Gwydion stops dead. Diana finds herself slowly following Gwydion until she’s right behind him.
“Oh, your uncle only said ‘wed,’ not love, but I have heard wonderful tales of this ‘’Stockholm Syndrome.” He barks out a laugh. “I’m done with stuck up girls who think they’re better than everyone, and getting to destroy a caster in the process is far too perfect an opportunity to pass up!” Gill morphs partway into a dog, maintaining his upright posture.
Cadfael still circles overhead, but at this point, any flame attack would incinerate them all. Diana doesn’t know what to do.
“So are you going to talk all day, or are you going to do something?” Gwydion shouts. Extending his runic weapon to the side in a warrior’s salute. Gill howls his evil laugh.
“I know who you are Gwydion fab Dôn. I would not be foolish enough to fight fair.” And with one last crazed smile, Gill shoves Cecily screaming off the sloped side of the roof. Gwydion jumps after her with a furious yell. He really doesn’t think about what he does.
Diana looks between Gill advancing menacingly and Gwydion sliding down the dragon saliva-slick roof to a lower level. She sees Gwydion catch Cecily’s arm with one hand and a finial with is other to slow both of their speed just in time to prevent them from sliding off the edge.
Phew, they’re safe… She pulls her eyes away from Gwydion’s newly muscled arms to look back at Gill. Now all I just have to deal with is demon-dog Gill. Gill stalks within her arm’s reach.
“You look so much better without that wizard in the way.” He leans in and smells her. She flinches but stands her ground.
“I don’t know how I could be so nice to you all this time. You’re disgusting.” She scowls at him. He just laughs.
“I’d still prefer you over, sissy-whatever down there.” He glances down at Gwydion and Cecily who are carefully making their way up the steep and slippery incline. Cadfael is circling lower, but still a ways off.
Gwydion shouts from below: “She’ll never choose you, you dog!” His noble statement is dampened somewhat by him slipping the moment after. Gill just chuckles menacingly.
I just need to stall him long enough. She thinks to herself. But what can I do..? She looks up suddenly and bats her lashes.
“Oh, you’d rather have me..?” She bats her lashes again. I really hope I’m not overdoing this. “I didn’t know! I got so jealous when I heard that you’d chosen her over me.” She looks down at Cecily with feigned disdain. Gill is taken aback. Apparently, he hadn’t expected her to change her mind.
“Oh, well then…” His claws shrink a little and his eyes dim slightly.
“Mmhmm. Say, what was that pretty poem you shared a couple of moments ago? I really liked the sound of it.” Gill whimpers in excitement. Hurry up, Gwydion!
“‘If a fair maid’ will me wed,”
“A fair maid? That doesn’t mean me? Does it?” she asks demurely.
“The blasted curse will be unstaid.”
“Oh, how dreadful!” she exclaims, glancing back at Gwydion and Cecily, still much too far below.
“She it knows, and down he goes,
Falling into the awaiting bed.”
He finishes quickly to prevent any more interruptions.
She claps daintily. Then a thought occurs to her. She looks down at a big blob of dragon saliva, and back to Gill.
“You know, I don’t think that poem means what you think it does.” Springing into action, Diana she kicks the blob at Gill, simultaneously swinging a right hook at Gill’s nose. Her punch connects and Gill howls in pain as he slips on the goo.
As he falls, Gill reaches out his extending and is just able to catch Diana’s sleeve, pulling her over the side with him.
The two of them slide down the siding, Gill’s claws leaving long scratches in the copper just below Diana as they descend. She tries to slow herself but succeeds only in widening the gap by a few feet. Gwydion is too far away to catch her.
I guess this is it, she thinks to herself. I would’ve liked to have at least gotten a date out of the deal.
With that thought, Diana falls over the edge into the open air.
Instinctively, she splays out and feels weightless for a moment. Suddenly the wind is knocked out of her with a thud.
A red, scaly foot is wrapped tightly around her midriff. She would laugh in surprise if she had any air in her lungs to do it. She manages a grateful croak and twists around to climb up to a more comfortable position.
While she scales up the dragon, Cadfael has his sights on Gill.
Gill lands in a tulip box, mostly unharmed. Diana sees him rise, shake off the dirt, and turn in time to see a column of flame exploding toward him.
“NOOO!!!” He howls. Then, he is no more. Cadfael circles leisurely back up to the roof, where Gwydion is just helping Cecily onto the level platform. Cadfael lands and lowers enough for Diana to hop off. Cadfael eyes the now scratched copper pinnacle and takes a hop towards it.
“Cadfael! No! You listen to me.” Gwydion steps in front of the dragon. Cadfael snorts, shaking his red head. “I said: no! You took things that don’t belong to you.” The dragon hunches it’s shoulders and hides its nose under an outstretched wing.
Cecily leans over to Diana: “Didn’t the dragon just incinerate Gill? Shouldn’t new, hot-Deon be a little more careful?” Diana just shakes her head and smiles.
Gwydion consoles the shamed dragon and rubs Cadfael’s nose affectionately. “Okay, spit it all out.” Gwydion turns and gives Cadfael space. Cadfael then proceeds to arch his back like a cat, and cough out all the items in reverse order from the largest to the smallest, Cadfael blasting backward and shrinking as they exit.
Finally, a 9-inch dragon zips over and lands on Gwydion’s shoulder, nibbling his earlobe. Gwydion pulls out a shiny penny and gives to Cadfael, who quickly swallows it happily. Gwydion walks to the ladies.
“That was intense,” Cecily states, eyeing the still muscular Gwydion.
“Yeah, I wasn’t planning on things going that way, but I’m happy you’re both okay.” He scratches his head. “What made you attack the beast?” he asks Diana. She responds:
“‘If a fair maid’ will me wet,
The blasted cursed will be unstead-y.
She it knows, (or will understand) and down he goes,
Falling into the awaiting flower bed.’
It was all very simple really.” She flips her dragon saliva-filled, dragon-flight dried, puffy hair comically. “At least I had a hunch. I just didn’t think anyone would want to give someone like Gill a way out.” Gwydion and Cecily nod approvingly. “And what about you? Why aren’t you like this, all the time?” Gwydion blushes a little.
“Well, I feel more like computer wizard than the warrior-mage most of the time these days… and I found that it was harder for me to fit in when I look like that too.” He shrugs.
Diana decides in a split moment to take matters into her own hands, again.
She wraps her arms around his shoulders and kisses him. Gwydion is taken aback at first but returns the kiss when he recovers.
“Yuck, dragon-spit kiss.” He jokes when she leans back to look at him. She just shoves him playfully. “Well, Cecily… I’m probably going to have to make you forget this.” His sword emits its characteristic blue light and shrinks back into a stylus
Cecily shakes her head, raising her hands in front of her.
“Noooo way! I just found out about dragons and wizards being real, I want to remember it! I can keep a secret.” Gwydion looks like he might ignore her request for a moment, then sighs and drops the stylus in his front pocket.
“Alright, then maybe you can explain how all this stuff ended up, up here… and how it got all covered in goop?” Cecily nods and smiles.
“I’ll say that Gill was pulling an ‘I quit’ prank,” Cecily says with a wink.
“Um, maybe say that we were in on it too,” Diana says looking up into Gwydion’s green eyes. “I think we’ve got some traveling to do and I have a nest egg I wouldn’t mind spending on a dragon and a computer wizard.” Gwydion smiles.
“Alright, let’s go then.” He pulls out his ‘notebook,’ and reads something in Welsh. He then steps off the rooftop onto the open air, dropping his spell book back into his pocket. Diana’s jaw drops. He turns and takes Diana’s hand. “You coming?”
“You said you couldn’t fly!” He smiles bigger.
“Well, this isn’t really flying. It’s just walking on air.” Cadfael does a loop around and under Gwydion’s feet as a demonstration.
Diana takes a step and feels the air below her feet bunch together like the air in a blow-up mattress.
“Do you always take your first dates on a walk on cloud nine?” She asks.
“Rarely.” He winks and the two of them walk off into the setting sun with the little red dragon zipping around them.
The End